Unfortunately rejection can happen to all of us, whether it's a partner or employer telling us "Sorry, but no," it happens and it hurts. I have spent the last nine months being rejected from over 100 job applications and 16 interviews. I was even fired from a job because I "didn't fit the role", although we all know it's because I reported a colleague for racism on my third day. Yes, my confidence is slightly shattered but I am slowly finding my feet again. All of this heart ache has taught me a few things and now I am going to share with you my combat strategies for tackling rejection (the fucker).
Oh rejection. What a cruel and painful bastard you are.
I am 26 years old and currently going through a very weird point in my life. After 8 years of working in and out of minimum wage jobs and working with bosses who take complete advantage of my situation (being skint), I have had enough! I want a nice job. I want to wear nice clothes and not finish my day smelling like food, beer, or both. I want to feel financially comfortable without having to work over 50 hours a week. I should not have to make myself physically and mentally ill to earn a comfortable wage. Why is this so hard?!
I am constantly looking for jobs to apply for. I work on projects left, right and centre; proving my ability to succeed and generally kick arse at life! But no one wants me. And Mission: Get A ‘Good’ Job is becoming an untouchable dream. For the first time in my life I am starting to feel defeated - if you know me, then you know this is serious.
Today I was once again rejected from a job. I am now going to describe for you my thought process after reading the dreaded email:
“For fuck sake!” - the first sentence in my head, followed by some more explitatives. Then came the negative thoughts,
“What am I doing wrong?”
“What did I say?”
“Should I have worn those shoes?”.
Then finally the mother-load of all shite questions, “Why am I not good enough?”. This is something I seem to be constantly asking myself...
It’s quite a regular occurrence for me to be left asking “Why am I not good enough?”. It has been the fuel to my anxiety for years and it’s left me feeling like dirt on the ground. I start questioning everything I say and eventually I lose touch with myself. I imagine how a ‘successful’ person would be then try to replicate this fictional character. When I can not reach my own fabricated standards, I am my own biggest critic and punish myself.
This track all stems back to that horrible moment when I was rejected, but how do I combat this toxic thought process? Rejection is going to happen to all of us one day. It’s part of life, but what can we do to help ourselves?
First of all sit up, open those curtains, and let the sun in - I promise it’s a good place to start. Next, make yourself feel fresh and clean. When your mood is super low having a shower is tricky, but that smell is really not very helpful. Now that you’re up, take a walk to get some fresh air and movement in your bones. Even if it’s just to the shop to get some ‘feel sorry for yourself food’; get yourself moving.
Now to tackle those perpetual negative thoughts.
They are tricky little buggers and they know how to ruin your day, but you are better than this. For me, I like to catch them by the ear and dangle them in my mind. I Hold ‘em up high, swing ‘em round and flick ‘em out. Remember they are only thoughts. They are not justified in anyway shape or form and they have no strength over you... You are not your thoughts.
Why am I not good enough? I am good enough, there are just some things in life which are out of my control and that’s ok! I will keep trying. I will also keep reminding myself of everything I have achieved so far.